2010chileMinebI got off to a rocky start. I did enjoy rereading the March entries. 

The event I picked to represent 2010 was the October 13th Chilean Mine Rescue of 33 miners after being trapped for 69 days.

There was no January issue. The February issue was not of general interest.

 

March

Two Items about Patience; 

God, grant me patience, now!
Patience is waiting a long, long time before getting mad.

BEST POEM IN THE WORLD

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor. 

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp—
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

'And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

JUDGE NOT!!

Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car. 

Every saint has a PAST...Every sinner has a FUTURE!

 

April

Don’t be squirrels, regardless of church; There were four houses of religion in a small town; The Presbyterian Church, The Baptist Church, The Methodist Church, and The Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In The Baptist Church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But the Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

 

May

Mother’s Day Program; The Chatter staff (all one of us) was truly impressed with the tribute to Mother’s presented by the UMYF. The staff must also confess trouble remembering that UMYF stands for United Methodist Youth Fellowship.

New Church Signs; It’s better than Ben and Jerry’s, too.

Forgotten Item; There is an item I want to include but cannot remember. My deadline has approached so it must wait. We hope it was not important or dated. 

Author's current comment; I can't believe, but I guess I did forget to wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day.

 

June

Father’s Day; Happy Father’s Day to all the father’s we know.

 

July

Dog Days; Dog Days begin this month. In case you are wondering, the name comes from the ancient belief that Sirius, also called the Dog Star, was somehow responsible for the hot weather in July and August. 

The August and September issues were not of general interest.

 

October

Haunted House; The Haunted House project of the UMYF was a huge success, according to The Chatter Ace reporter sent to the scene to report. We call him Ace because he is the only one, not because he is good. He went on the last day, expecting a small crowd because of competition from the free Haunted House a few blocks away. That way, he could get in, observe, and get out in a hurry. To his surprise, he had to wait his turn in line and sit with some of the organizers for nearly an hour. It was worth the wait, he reports. The props were scary and so were the actors (were they acting or real spooks?). Ace also overheard someone say it was better than the big free one nearby.

The Haunted House proves youth with enthusiasm, imagination, and hard work cannot be beat. Thanks go to the active participants, the backstage crew, and their adult leaders. It was a job well done!!!!

Just think! They earned $768 for that effort.

To all of you who didn’t care to be or weren’t able to be spooked, you missed a rare treat. All of us should always remember that the youth are the future of our church, not us older folks who will soon be no more. Please do all you can for them. They and their leaders deserve it and work very hard to earn whatever we share with them. 

Memories; The Haunted House reminded The Chatter editor that, once and only once, in high school he was an actor. His only line as one of two guards (the other guard was a school friend) to a bad king was “My King, over yonder hill, thy enemy approaches!” When the time came to say it, what came out was, “Here they come!” From that moment on, the editor became a backstage helper.

Vacation; The Chatter staff is going to take a breather until late in December, perhaps early January. The staff will resume publication around Christmas.

There was no November issue.

December

Short Issue; I’m not a day late and a dollar short; I’m a week late and many pages short, but it will have to do.

God, Our Protector; Our Sunday School lesson discussed how a mother hen tucks her baby chicks under her wings when she and the chicks fear the worst may come. Also, the baby chicks instinctively run to their mother hen for protection. We should do the same, seeking safety under the wings of God. As is often true in life, the mother hen and her chicks do not always survive the clear and present danger. The same is true for us. We do not always survive that clear and present danger; but we are guaranteed survival forever because of our faith and belief in safety under God’s wings. I also hope the mother hen and her chicks are in the end as blessed as are we.